The Velo House, Tunbridge Wells

We’ve been hearing great things about a place called the The Velo House in Tunbridge Wells for a while now. It’s a cycling café, bike shop and workshop that’s been getting some rave reviews so we had to check it out. I got there not a little bit dishevelled, extremely hot and in need of some sustenance having tackled some hilly Kentish lanes that can sure be tough when they want to be. Note to self: check out the elevation profile before attempting a new route.

Velo House was a welcome sight indeed as was the enticing menu. It’s a lovely airy, open space, housed in a former Nat West bank building. These guys have clearly thought hard about how to cater for the passing cyclist. You can park your bike in an outside area with a complementary bike lock, the tables are all covered with maps of the local area marked with popular cycling routes. Then there’s a bookshelf with essential cycling reading - back issues of Rouleur, books on cycling climbs and biographies of riders. Yep, I felt at home here!

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Fantasy Bike Shed

While we all know from our Velominati rules that the minimum number of bikes one should own is 3, the ideal is number is, in fact, n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. Yes, we’re always on the lookout for a newer, older, better, sexier, lighter, different bike to add to the collection. But, as Velominati warns, there is a maximum number of bikes one can have, as defined by the equation s-1, “where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.” Yup, we know you love your bikes, but don’t forget, you love your partner as well.

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