Carlton Kirby, Eurosport’s go-to man for cycling commentary, has legions of fans who tune in for his witty repartee with cycling great, Sean Kelly. Known by some as the ‘language mangler’ and for his ‘Kirbyisms’ (occasional strange musings about, not just cycling, but the very fabric of life) loyal listeners have set up a Twitter account of his humorous comments: Things Carlton Says @saidcarlton. Ride Velo went to the Eurosport headquarters in West London or as Carlton refers to it, “The Feltham Institute for Young Offenders,” to meet the man, learn what it takes to call a bunch sprint on a stage of the Tour de France and find out how to make Sean Kelly corpse on live TV.